Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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