Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
