Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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