I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
