She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
