a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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