We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
