oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
