It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
