New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
