It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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