so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
