I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
