I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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