Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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