Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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