wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she peed on how many people?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
