i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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