I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
