DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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