giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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