I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
