I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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