i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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