kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
