come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
