I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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