i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They took my balls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
