Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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