Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
