i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
