I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
