I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish you could order shots online.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
