Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
