He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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