rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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