apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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Operation Purity has been aborted
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I see more hoeing in ur future
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