i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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