It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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