we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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