A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
