Hey man sorry I got all grabby
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
