Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize