i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
