the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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