she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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