I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
