he puts the penis in happiness.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize