$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
