Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
