wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
