did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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