he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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