discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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