shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
