we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
