I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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