So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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