It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
