i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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