I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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