Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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